Take a moment and grab some tissues, your favorite bottle of red wine and the largest pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream you can find, because let’s face it, if Rihanna, Beyonce and now (apparently) Jennifer Lopez can’t find love what are the chances for the rest of us mere mortals?!
Jennifer Lopez, Rihanna and Beyonce – Grammy’s 2013
Allow us to break it down – we’re all aware of the media storm that was Riri and Chris Brown back in 2009.
Rihanna and Chris Brown
But we hear you, “No Adornami Caribbean, that was all the way back in 2009, that doesn’t count”, and we agree so let’s move on.
One word – LEMONADE
Beyonce Lemonade Trailer
One phrase – “Becky with the good hair”
Made our point?
In case you’re lost, Beyonce released (in typical Beyonce fashion) her latest album Lemonade last month which sent the beehive and all of internetdom into a panicked frenzy filled with speculations of Jay Z’s infidelity. Even though it was officially released on Tidal, several tracks from her visual album have been leaked and are floating around the web. In the album, Beyonce added a combination of visuals, spoken word and poetry that left all of us thinking that love was officially dead.
We’ll now take a moment of silence for poor Rachel Ray who was caught in the crossfires.
But now, JLo releases a single “Ain’t Your Mama” and we can’t help but ask yourselves what did Casper do?
Buckle up, first, a quick history lesson:
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
In the beginning there was JLo and Marc Anthony, then in July 2011, after seven years of marriage, there was no longer a JLo and Marc Anthony.
Then suddenly, in November 2011 rumors began swirling that JLo was dating a 24 year old (at the time) dancer Casper Smart.
Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart
These two have been together ever since despite rumors of several separations in between, and then the clouds parted and JLo drops her single “Ain’t Your Mama” and the world is thrown into darkness because of all-that-shade!
The video, which is now available on JenniferLopezVEVO, begins with JLo in the rain on a payphone (I mean, really?) apparently having a conversation with someone (insert shade here) and using the line “is that all you have to say for yourself?”
The lyrics go on to say:
I ain’t cooking all day (I ain’t your mama!)
I ain’t gon’ do your laundry (I ain’t your mama!)
I ain’t your mama, boy (I ain’t your mama!)
When you’re going get your act together?
I ain’t your mama…
No, I ain’t your mama
No, I ain’t your mama, no!
Wake up, rise and shine, ah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Let’s get to work on time, ah-yeah-yeah-yeah
No more playing video games, ah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Things are about to change, I hear, I hear.
And suddenly the age difference between Casper and JLo hit us across the face (no Chris Brown, not you) and we’re convinced that there’s trouble brewing!
The song is catchy, has a great beat (I’m still tapping my foot as I listen to it while typing this article) but let’s take a moment to appreciate the freak of nature that is Jennifer Lopez! Here are some of my favorite looks from her video:
and finally, wait for it…
These boots look familiar? That’s right…
Rihanna x Manolo Blahnik
JLo rocked the belted denim boot from the Rihanna x Manolo Blahnik Collection and I almost fell off my chair.
But here’s the thing about it all, even though Rihanna, Beyonce and Jennifer experience ups and downs in their personal lives, it’s because they’re human too, just like us. So here’s a tip from yours truly – take a page from their book, live your life, accept the good with the bad, use the bad as inspiration for greatness and look flawless while doing it!
But before we leave, here’s the official video for Ain’t Your Mama by Jennifer Lopez